


Minecraftia

by Queensme



Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Angst, Anyways, Blood and Injury, Drabbles, Gen, I Tried, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Maybe Some Plot, Potions, Welcome to the circus, and frick that, crossbows, no romance because they are real people, not really an actual plot, ravines, shipping real people is just wrong, this is gonna be a long one
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-20
Updated: 2020-10-23
Packaged: 2021-03-06 23:35:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,468
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26017372
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Queensme/pseuds/Queensme
Summary: A oneshot collection with maybe some plot and an entire fantasy-minecraft world based around it. I'll post when I want. I'll also take requests.
Relationships: Clay | Dream & Dave | Technoblade, No Romantic Relationship(s), no - Relationship, no shipping you gremlins
Comments: 8
Kudos: 123





	1. welcome to the circus (TOC)

yall know the rules with rpf, do i need to say them? hopefully not. as said, this is a oneshot collection, which means there isnt really going to be any plot when it comes to it. i might continue off of where some left off, but this entire thing is based on when i want to write and what i want to write. ill take requests, theyll take forever for me to do though.  
so anyways, heres a minecraft au where its basically this;  
-everyone is hardcore unless your in a server or city  
-there are famous heroes that wander the lands, most of which are main characters  
-villages do exist, but theyre a dying breed and are very not great places to live anymore  
-villagers dont like players  
-players are what human characters are called  
-villagers can become players, but its extremely hard and rare to do so  
-there arent very many people who are actually adventurers because they either die or settle down as soon as possible  
-when you die youre a ghost until your given a proper burial or are resurrected  
-servers have huge issues and sometimes hunger games players actually die  
-achievements mark how powerful you are, so with all of them you'd be the strongest possible player  
-theyre all humans/humanoid, at least until a certain point  
-there are some pretty bad consequences for losing tournaments  
-most well known adventurers know each other to a certain extent

so now that thats out of the way—  
lets get to the list of oneshots. ill add them to this chapter as we go.

'you know it's bad when you're bleeding out on the ground'  
Technoblade & Dream as friends/sparring buddies  
Warnings: Blood & injury, minor gore, heavy angst, near character death  
Synopsis: Things go horribly wrong when Dream shoots Techno in the abdomen with a crossbow.

'Dream and Techno being bros (ft. highschool)  
Technoblade & Dream as classmates/friends  
Warnings: None  
Synopsis: Dream and Techno have a conversation in high school while spectating a sparring class.

"dude, i recognize you from somewhere"  
Boffy & Tommy as friends, Tommy, Wilbur, Phil and Techno as housemates.

Warnings: None  
Synopsis: Boffy awakens in a place he doesn't recognize, surrounded by people who he has no idea who they are.


	2. you know its bad when you're bleeding out on the ground

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things go horribly wrong after Dream shoots Techno in the abdomen with a crossbow.

Techno couldn’t believe that this was happening. Of all things that were possible, this wasn’t at all what he expected, and it seemed that nobody else had either. A completely mind boggling situation that he really couldn’t imagine without wanting to laugh as if it were a joke, and not some serious life or death situation that could cost him the entire fight.  
Dream seemed to have other plans. Currently Techno was hiding behind a wall, clutching the arrow that was sticking out of his abdomen, having already used up all of his potions and gapples in the earlier battles. Blood was flowing around the arrow tip with no signs of stopping any time soon. All he really could do was sit and hope that Wilbur or Phil—or anyone; this server was full of people—found him before the masked man did.  
Techno mentally cursed the armorsmith who had forged his chestplate—a simplistic design that was built for agility, not combat, with an open slot in the abdomen and more leather straps included beneath the partial netherite breastplate to give it a comfortable fit. Again, built for agility. He should’ve expected that it would be him running from Dream than Dream running from him, because that always seemed to be the case. Or, at least, it was, until he realized that his armor wasn’t for combat.   
So there was an arrow lodged in the center of his abdomen, pressing rather painfully into his stomach, and, again, all he could do was wait for someone to help him. No potions, food was being saved for when he managed to get the arrow out, and his gapples had already been used. You know it’s bad when you’re having to ration food because your friends are taking forever to find you. At least that open slot wasn’t in the ribcage, as originally intended, because that would’ve been fatal for how long he had to wait.  
How long had it been again? It couldn’t have been that long ago. The moon was still hanging over the horizon and that cow was still standing over there—probably that one kid’s, the guy who put the cows in the pit for his own sadistic entertainment. Man, Techno couldn’t even remember one of Tommy’s friends’ names. That was not good. Anyways, it couldn’t have been that long since he sat down and started trying to pull the arrow out. He’d maybe reached an inch before he had to stop to prevent himself from screaming. Arrows were always a bitch to take out, especially from a crossbow shot.  
Techno gave it a firm tug, his legs jerking violently at the action, slapping a hand over his mouth and biting down to muffle the shout that threatened to escape. Oh Notch, that hurt more than he’d anticipated. And all the blood that had somehow managed to clot was now flowing with a renewed vigour. He really couldn’t afford to keep it in, though—as soon as it was out he would eat some food, and it would (hopefully) heal quickly, and then he could walk himself to Wilbur, get some potions, and all would be fine. Make sure that he still had his combat armor set, have the armorsmith forge him something that Dream couldn’t shoot through, and he would be perfectly fine after this.  
Techno grabbed the arrow where it was closest to his abdomen, cringing at how slick it was from his blood, before he began to slowly pull it out, biting his bloody knuckles to somewhat distract himself. Of course, it didn’t work, the pain of an arrow inside your flesh is much worse than teeth breaking skin that was already broken, but it was an attempt, a poor one at that. He caught sight of a flint tip and gave one last harsh yank, his legs kicking out and hitting his bag (of course) further away from him as a yelp bubbled out of his throat.  
The arrow was out. Now to grab the food.  
His bag was too far away for him to reach, almost visible from behind the wall. Because of course when he kicked things they went flying away from him, they never could just stay where they were, even if they were completely solid. Techno forced himself onto his stomach, shaking as he attempted to crawl over. As soon as he could reach he would be in the clear, he would be fine, and the rest of his plan would go the same, he just had to reach the damn bag. No big deal, it's just a life or death situation, no big deal.  
Not like he wanted to die when he couldn’t respawn or anything.  
The bag was just out of reach when he lost the rest of his strength, collapsing against the ground and unable to even lift his head. He was acutely aware of the cold spreading over his body, the delusion that came with blood loss not quite grasping him just yet, but nothing seemed to be real. The pain in his abdomen was still prominent, which was a good sign—he hadn’t gone into shock just yet, which likely would be happening soon, if he didn’t stop bleeding right that moment.  
Techno really couldn’t believe the situation he was in. Dream had shot him in the abdomen, and now he was bleeding out on the ground right next to supplies that would undoubtedly save his life. Notch, that would be such an insult—‘Here lies ‘Dave’ Technoblade—died inches from a source of regen after picking a fight with a blonde in a green cloak. May he fight forever in Valhalla.’  
He did not want that on his gravestone, in fact he didn’t want a gravestone.  
Techno attempted to move once more, his hand barely able to quiver before it dropped back on the ground, limp and dead like he would be if he didn’t reach that bag. Now that he thought about it, the food was entirely pointless, he was going to need potions to get this fixed up. So, by extension, the bag was entirely pointless, and so was the rest of his plan since he would definitely bleed out before someone found him. Maybe hiding behind one of Luke’s walls wasn’t a good idea, but it served its purpose as both a resting space and a hiding place. Maybe a gravestone could be fashioned here?  
His eyes began to close when he heard the telltale sound of footsteps, startling him. Sure enough, there was someone sprinting towards him, carrying an enchanted crossbow—oh wonderful, it was Dream. The blonde was rushing towards him, probably to finish the job—just great. Technoblade never dies, apart from the last time he died because of the world’s fastest runner. However, to his surprise, the masked man tossed his crossbow on the ground a couple yards from him and slid down on his knees next to Techno. He seemed to be panicking, pulling things out of his bag rapidly, trying to find something.  
“Notch, fuck, I’m fucking stupid, oh my Notch—,” Dream pulled out a potion, pink and glowing with small golden chunks sitting at the bottom, and popped the cap off of it. “I didn’t—I thought your armor was solid, fuck. I didn’t, I didn’t mean—,” He carefully turned him onto his back, Techno clenching his teeth at the movement. He placed the bottle just above his abdomen and began pouring it into the wound—he didn’t actually know that you could do that, but he wasn’t complaining. “I’m fucking sorry, I should’ve watched where I was shooting—,”  
Techno interrupted him by grunting as loudly as he could. It came out as more of a pig sound than a Player’s, but he would use whatever sound he could to get Dream’s attention. Dream ripped off his mask and tossed it onto the ground, a sure sign that he wasn’t trying to do anything, before covering the wound with some string. He’d always hated the string bandages—they stuck to his skin, to the point where he could swear he saw blood whenever he ripped them off like everyone insisted he should. The adhesive was good for clotting, though, and that might’ve been the goal.  
“Don’t you dare die on me,” Dream hissed out, and Techno cracked a half smile. “I’m serious. At least set your spawn before you do.” He coughed out a laugh at that, not liking the flavor of blood that flowed from his lips moments after. He tilted his head to the side and half sighed, half coughed. Oh yeah, there was blood. Dark blood, almost black. The other noticed this as well, cursing more. "I didn't think I was close enough to—I didn't think—"  
"Spit it out already," Techno wheezed. Dream looked slightly offended, but didn't offer anything else than some more curses as he kept removing potions from his bag. "Seriously."  
"I—I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you. That's what I wanted to say."  
"It's fine."  
"Fine isn't good enough and you and I both know that."  
Techno hummed in response, already feeling the potion fixing the wound. It fizzled around inside of him, grabbing broken pieces of flesh and organs and putting them back together, before vibrating and mending the wound. Overall, not a pleasant feeling, but it didn't hurt either. More was just awkward, like someone's fingers carefully poking around in your stomach (not that way).  
"Fine is fine, Dream," Techno muttered, turning his head away from the man in question. He couldn't bear to look at his face so full of concern and pity, yet still carrying the determination to always win the fight. That's another thing they had in common. He heard Dream move, the grass and dirt crunching under him, and he assumed that the speedrunner had turned around to face the abandoned village.  
“Fine isn’t fine,” Dream whispered back, almost too quiet for Techno to hear, before he began to hear scribbling of paper. Book and quill. Oh. He forgot that Dream still did that, wrote down everything that happened like it was a history book. He doubted anyone would ever read it—it was Dream’s only, the only time it would ever be read out by a different person would be his funeral, if he ever died.  
“Fine. I’m okay, I’ll live. Is that what you need to hear?”  
“I—,” Dream sighed, but Techno knew that it wasn’t just defeat that lined it. “I’m just scared, that’s all.”  
He wasn’t expecting that.  
“What do you mean?”  
“Will—Will we…” Dream swallowed. “Are we still...What am I to you?”  
Techno definitely wasn’t expecting that question. What was Dream to him? A rival. A sparring partner. A challenge. Someone who, at the end of the day, he could get a drink with and laugh their asses off at something in the dead of night. Not quite enough to warrant one of the only responses he could think of, but enough to warrant at least a friend. “My friend. Why?”  
“T-this won’t affect that...will it?”  
That’s what he was talking about. He thought Techno was going to abandon him for hurting him, or expected him to never interact again, but that wasn’t the case. If he’d cut ties with every person who had nearly killed him he would have no friends or even associates, even the accidents. “No, no of course not.” He paused, turning his head towards Dream. The speedrunner was facing away from him, curled up with his book and quill in one hand, the other presumably on his face. “If I did that I wouldn’t have any friends.”  
Dream’s relief was almost audible. Techno sat up, his arms still shaking and his head spinning, and slid himself across the grass to sit next to the speedrunner. His book was still open, showing a charcoal drawing of another player, rough but definitely someone. Next to it was a small passage written in the blocky text they were all taught in modern schools, that Techno forced himself not to read—invading someone’s privacy wasn’t something that he did, and he wasn’t planning on starting that while sitting next to a wall that belonged to a man with countless beacons and an empire standing on glass.  
“So...we’re cool?”  
Techno couldn’t help but smile. “I’m the only one of us that is actually cool, but yeah. We’re cool.”  
Dream reached for his mask. It was apparent that the speedrunner didn’t like showing his face often, but still bothered to show it to him. Maybe as a sign of truce, but Techno didn’t want to think much of it. Apart from the scar on his forehead there was nothing to hide, so there was no other reasons for the mask, but, again, he didn’t want to bother him.  
“I, uh—”  
“Gotta go?”  
“Yeah. Don’t wanna upset the guy who lives here. He’s got a smite five sword.”  
Techno laughed. “As if that could stop me. I’ve got my sharpness six fist.”  
“That doesn’t exist.”  
“Yeah, because I’m the only one whose got it. You see anyone walking around with my win streak? No, no you don’t. They’re all training for another hundred years.”  
Dream cracked up at that, dropping his book before quickly grabbing it. He stood up, offering his hand to Techno, who took it. He stumbled on his first step, the weakness still grasping his legs, but soon managed to get his baring enough to at least walk. The weakness would wear off soon anyways, maybe he could stir it off early. “You know where you’re going?”  
“Through the woods to Sapnap’s camp. Do you?”  
“That nether portal over there should link up to at least one of mine—so yeah, I think I do. If I get lost in the Nether then it wouldn’t be the first time.”  
He assumed by the way that Dream tilted his head that he was concerned. “You’re seriously walking through the Nether after this?” Techno raised an eyebrow. “I mean, I guess, but be careful. Don’t want to have to save you a second time.”  
“You best believe that if anyone’s gonna need saving its going to be you,” Techno grinned, then started walking towards the portal. “Don’t die in the woods!”  
“Don’t die in the Nether!” Dream called back, just before Techno walked through the portal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> haha i referenced a couple of other yters, most notably luke_thenotable, whose hardcore series has taken over my life. if anyone catches the other tiny reference then ill be kinda surprised, but im not gonna say.


	3. Dream and Techno being bros (ft. highschool)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dream and Techno have a conversation in high school while spectating a sparring class.

“You still going for the adventurer’s guild?"

The pigman turned his head towards the other man, who was looking at him with piqued interest. Clay and him had been rivals for awhile now, what with the two of them being prime candidates for a high ranking adventurers guild once they graduated. Or, that's what was originally intended, but the pigman quickly lost interest in being in a guild with so many people in it for his own aspiration of starting a combat guild. Because that was his goal, unlike the other, who wanted to kill a  _ dragon _ .

Not that he couldn’t do the same—the journey to the dragon was the most dangerous part, from there it was relatively simple, as far as he knew. "I mean, not really? More on the solo adventurer thing, y’know?"

Clay nodded, seating himself next to him on the bench. The two were exempt from sparring practice, what with the risk of them actually hurting someone. The pigman could beat someone off of the platform with his fist and nobody would bat an eye, but as soon as he was given a sword everyone was terrified. "I’m not either. Decided that I wanted to stay out of that kind of group. I have three friends and you, I think I don’t need much else.

"Thanks for the sentiment, but I’m just in your class. Chances are we wont even know each other when we graduate."

"Say that—one of us  _ is  _ going to get famous."

"We don’t even have  _ names _ ."

"...Fair enough."

The pigman snorted, turning back to the current students who were fighting. A milk man and a goat man, with the milk man clearly winning, were standing on the platform, the goat man barely hanging off the ledge. However, right before he fell, the milk man reached down and pulled him up. Because not everyone was made to do PvP, and the sparring class was required. Why, he couldn’t imagine, but that wouldn’t change things anyways.

"Dream," Clay said suddenly. The pigman raised an eyebrow at him, questioning the name with just his eyes. The teen smiled at him, pulling a mask out of his bag. "I’ve had this for, like, ever, and never used it. Not once."

"You should’ve when you were robbing that armory," The pigman said, and Clay looked away sheepishly. "You didn’t even get anything good. What’s a shield going to do?"

"Shields are the superior defense mechanism, excuse you!" Clay exclaimed, before sighing. "I don’t think I’m ever robbing somebody again, after that. And how did you even find out?"

"You're a terrible liar when it comes to your friends."

"I've gotten better!"

"I mean, yeah, I guess." The pigman went back to watching the other students. This time it was a man made of slime and a half monkey, neither of which phased him one bit. He was a pigman, after all, so he couldn’t really say anything either. "So why Dream?"

Clay shrugged. "I guess I'm just lazy. I mean, what better than a low effort mask to go with a random word?"

"...Alright. Yeah, makes sense I guess."

The monkey was rather nervous, but the slime man grinned and said something to aggravate him. At least, that's what the pigman thought, because the monkey rushed him but didn’t quite hit him. More just poked him with his sword. It wasn't like it could hurt the slime man; Slimes were completely immune to swords, no matter what anyone tried to say. It would just cut through and then there would be more slimes to deal with.

"I'm crippled with indecision."

"I'm trying to avoid that."

"I guessed."

The pigman sighed. Now there were two normal students fighting, with one almost easily overpowering the other. He was good with a blade and was very good with a water bucket, but his partner was almost unfairly placed against him with how many times he had won against almost every other student. A freshman, too.

"I can think of way too many cringey things, nothing cool." The pigman sighed. "I'll figure it out eventually."

"I mean, you can just go out there with your real name, not like it would really change anything."

"Have you ever seen anyone with their real name wandering around? No, probably not."

"I mean, George. Sap. Sap's walking around with his name."

"Yeah, but Sapnap's a nice name to be born with. You could submit that and everyone thinks you made it up. I dunno, I'll make one when it comes to it. Probably put down something stupid."

"A name's a name, y’know."

"Yeah, but that's the thing. It's a name."

"I guess you're right."

Then class was over for the freshmen, and instead it was the pigman and Clay's turn to fight. As he slipped on his blood red jacket, he thought of something rather suddenly.

"Technoblade." The pigman turned to Clay, watching as the other raised his eyebrow. It was his turn to be confused. "The blood god." A smile grew over the other's face, before he pulled out his mask and put it over his face. He reached into his own bag and grabbed his paper crown that Zak had given him as a joke, fitting it over his head before grinning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i bet you can catch who is referenced as the students, yall better  
> also i used dream's real name but not technos because dream is more comfortable with it than techno is and using technos real name all the time is pretty weirdchamp ngl. the paper crown was given to him by skeppy as a joke for being a king at combat, which he trades out for real gold later, but keeps with him for sentimental value. sapnap gave dream a white plate and dream made it into a mask to hide his face with, but he only used it like once before he became an adventurer.
> 
> also yeah theyre bros until they kinda go their own ways then meet back up in the middle, because lets face it school friends dont stick around forever very often.


	4. "dude, i recognize you from somewhere"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Boffy awakens in a place he doesn't recognize, surrounded by people who he has no idea who they are.

Burning down a village and killing cinders was always fun.

Sure, every time Boffy did it he ran the risk of burning with the place, and he always had the chance of dying when the cinders spotted him, but he couldn’t help it. It truly was good fun, burning wooden houses to the ground and watching as living things caught on fire, no guilt in his chest at all. He’d managed to purge that feeling long ago.

The black smoke that had been filling the sky was beginning to lose its thickness, beginning to grow more and more gray. That was when the fire stopped, when it got boring to stick around and when the fun came to a lull. Boffy was fine with finding a new village, because then he would be able to start fresh and get that same rush of adrenalin as he dodged new city guards and ran under the arms of iron golems for the sake of it.

It was getting late, however, and he knew that he wouldn’t be able to do those things if he was killed in the night by some monster that was much stronger than he was. So Boffy pulled a bedroll out of his pack and tossed it on the ground, before climbing into it.

When he awoke, it wasn’t in the bedroll. In fact, he wasn’t even on the mountain, and instead he was in an actual bed, in a room with a light in it and chests all over. Boffy looked around nervously, fear building up inside of him. Where was he?

He sat for a few moments, not knowing what to do with himself, before he decided on looking in the chests. If, somehow, the villagers survived and decided to hold him hostage then he at least wanted to be prepared to fight his way out. Though, after looking through a few, he found that none of them possessed any items that would aid him in combat. He didn’t know how to use fishing rods, so that was out of the question.

Boffy decided to sit back down on the bed, and he fiddled his thumbs. How long had he been there, how had he gotten there, and who else was there? There were people, he heard voices that he didn’t recognize, but he didn’t know if they were friendly. At least they didn’t sound like villagers, but he couldn’t be sure if they weren’t. Best to be safe and not try anything stupid.

It was maybe an hour before someone decided to check. It was a blonde boy around his age, someone who he felt he should recognize but couldn’t for the life of him, and he stared in through the half slabs that blocked off the exit. Upon seeing him, the boy turned around and walked back a few feet, before moving to face a hallway on Boffy’s left and shouting up it.

“He’s awake, Wil!”

Boffy felt that he should’ve recognized that voice. He stepped closer to the slabs, peeking through them and at the other. From what he could tell, he was in a cave, one which was well lit and decorated. At least he knew the monsters of the darkness wouldn’t come after him if they decided to let him out.

A tall man (not actually much taller than himself, he realized) in a trench coat and some sort of hat rushed down the stairs, followed by a pink haired man in dirty attire with a crown placed on his head and a basket full of what looked to be potatoes in his hands. All three of them stood a few feet away, the blonde looking nervously between the pinkette and the brunette.

“You sure you know who he is, Tommy?” The brunette asked, motioning back towards him.

“Yeah! We used to be buddies, me and him go way back...I think.” Really? Boffy didn’t remember having someone else to keep him company aside from himself and the occasional foolish but sentient being who decided to tag along as he burned places down. He’d never seen a blonde, though.

“You don’t actually know,” That wasn’t a question, it was an observation that the pinkette was throwing out, his voice completely devoid of all emotion. There was a word for that, Boffy knew, but he didn’t remember it well enough to say.

“I do! I just don’t know very well, Blade!”

“Can you not talk about me when I’m here?” Boffy questioned, sighing. They all turned to face him, and he noticed multiple things about the others. ‘Tommy’ had a bandage on his face, actually multiple, and they seemed to be covering up large bruises that managed to deep out from underneath. He assumed the pinkette was Blade, and from what he gathered he was a hybrid, with random parts of his body sharing similar anatomy to a boar’s, mostly the tusks that poked out of the sides of his mouth awkwardly, and his hands, which bore polished black ends on his three fingers. That left the last person to be ‘Wil’, who looked like he’d just gone through hours of crying and hadn’t slept for the past few days, looking exactly as Boffy felt—garbage.

“I—,”

“Sorry,” Wil said, pulling out an axe. Boffy stepped backwards immediately, raising his hands in a defensive stance. “Fuck, sorry, I’m not gonna hurt you—!”

“He’s gonna break the slabs,” Blade said. “That’s it. If he tries anythin’ I’ll stop him.”

Tommy nodded in agreement, and Boffy lowered his hands, watching as Wil chopped away at the slabs until they snapped in half. They fell to the ground, broken.

“There,” Wil put the axe away, slinging it back into a holster that didn’t look efficient at all on his hip. He raised his hands to show they were empty at a glare of distrust from Boffy. “See? Hands are empty.”

He didn’t fully believe that, but he decided to step out anyways, feeling a shiver rush through him as he looked up. He was in a ravine, to be specific, with lanterns hanging on chains and small bridges between doorways which lead to what he could only assume were mines. There was one he could see directly next to him, a large and well lit greenhouse like room with what seemed to be a mile of potato crops. Must’ve taken ages to dig out.

“Better?”

Boffy didn’t know what to say, so he just gave a short nod. Tommy grinned, and Blade made a low humming sound before walking into the farm. Wil still stood there, next to Tommy, as they awkwardly stood in a triangle, before he turned around and walked up some stairs and into another room.

“You’re Boffy, right?” Tommy asked. Boffy stared, confused and a little terrified, before he nodded.

“How—,” his voice cracked, and he stopped, cleared his throat, before trying again. “How do you know?”

“I remember you, that’s how,” Tommy said. “I got stuck in that weird place, with the messed up trees and those lava things, and you were there. I think we worked together, actually.”

He remembered some of the stuff. Boffy remembered digging a cave to hide in while the monsters stepped out of the lava, remembered some blonde kid with him, and they joked through the terror as they burned wood for warmth. “I think I remember you too. Tommy?”

Tommy’s smile got a bit bigger. “Yep, that’s me! You probably don’t know anyone else, though, so I’ll try to introduce you to everyone.”

So they walked into the farm first, and they sat on a wall and watched as the hybrid farmed potatoes. “That’s Technoblade. He really likes potatoes, fought a war over them actually. Don’t know why anyone would want to fight over potatoes, but I helped him! Became friends with him after that!”

“Barely,” Techno replied, his voice blank. He seemed focused on farming.

“Nah, nah, you’re my friend, right Blade?”

“I tolerate you.”

“Same thing!”

They walked out and Tommy showed him around the ravine. The rooms were mostly storage, newly dug out because Techno had too many potatoes and nobody wanted to buy any. The brunette was Wilbur, and he had been going through a rough patch recently, as it seemed. They didn’t talk—he’d gone to sleep and Tommy didn’t want to wake him up (neither did Boffy), so they let him be.

“Phil’s out right now, but as soon as he gets back we’ll talk to him. Niki’s somewhere out and about, and Tubs is at Manburg so we can’t talk for awhile—,”

“Manburg?” Boffy asked, confusion written on his face. There were cities? Countries? Full of players, full of actual people and not just villagers that haggled and tried to kill him when things went bad?

“Yeah, it’s this shitty place,” Tommy said. “A guy named Schlatt runs it. He’s hybrid, like Techno, but he’s a goat.”

Huh.

“Anyways, everyone but us four is out right now. Phil should be home soon, though—,”

“Hey, I’m back!” A man with a cheery accent called. His voice reverberated off the walls, comforting in a way that Boffy hadn’t felt for who knows how long. “Nothing’s blown up so I assume today was good?”

Out from one of the doorways came a blonde man, possibly the shortest person in the ravine, with a green cloak on and a bucket hat. His sandals constant patting and shifting across the floor told him where he was.

“Dad!” Tommy called up. He turned to Boffy. “That’s Phil.”

Phil was carrying a box of some sort, but as soon as he reached the main floor he dropped it onto the ground. Techno walked out of the farm, considerably dirtier than before, and began to look through it, not stopping until he pulled out a piece of gold and stared at it for a few moments. Tommy tossed a rock at him, snapping him out of it.

“Techno really likes gold, for some reason. Don’t know why.”

Made sense why the crown was still on his head, even while he was farming.

“Heya, Toms,” Phil ginned, turning towards him. His eyes flitted over to Boffy for a second, but he smiled at him too, before turning towards Techno and pulling the basket away. “No, stop that. One piece is enough.”

Techno made a noncommittal sound, standing and making his way back into the farm. Phil sighed. He looked back over and started approaching them with a bright smile on his face.

“Hi,” Phil said. Boffy gave him a small wave, not knowing what to do yet again. His first interaction with players in what he assumed was years and he had no idea what to say. “I’m Phil.”

“Boffy,” he replied, awkwardly shuffling his hands in his pockets.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> he finally got his own tag!!!  
> so lemme explain this. there are alternate worlds and they all are modded or stuff like that. basically boffy has been stuck in an rlcraft world for who knows how long and suddenly he wakes up in pogtopia and is very confused as to why nothing killed him in his sleep.


End file.
